And that's when I lost it.

I mentioned our summer New Braunfels vacation in my last post.  Vacations are great and this one, our annual family getaway with Kevin's parents, was wonderful.  But there is still a lot of stress that goes along with getting your family out the door and living away from home for a time with small children.  I started the weekend under the weather a bit.  When we got to our condo on Friday we couldn't get the key out of the lock box.  The mattresses were terrible, so no one slept well.  There were no condiments for the lunch meat sandwiches (that one didn't really bother me, I'm just throwing it in for my husband and father-in-law).  Burger King had no ice.  Etc., etc., etc.  Really nothing big and very little to complain about, but just small nagging things that built up until, after a long day in the sun at SeaWorld, I stepped in gum at a gas station on our way home.  I looked down at my shoe and the gum that someone else had been chewing now ground into the floor of the van--the second piece of gum I'd stepped on that day actually--and that's when I lost it.  I began to sob.  I think I also threw a chicken sandwich. 

I love it when you react super emotionally to something as an adult and people try to comfort you by reminding you that even Jesus turned over the tables of the money changers and wept at the death of a friend.  This was nothing like that.  I was throwing a great big, adult sized fit over gum and I have no good excuse except that I was simply too tired to do anything better. 

It's not that the vacation wasn't relaxing.  I actually sat by a pool and read two magazines cover to cover.  Two!!  But I guess I got caught up in all that relaxing and didn't spend much time with God during our trip.  If I had, surely I would have remembered to hand all those little annoyances over to Him. 

I like to picture that I have a spiritual bucket.  It gets full of all sorts of unpleasant things, big and little, and needs to be emptied often.  I do this by starting my day in prayer.  Before my feet hit the floor I ask God to prepare my spirit for the day, thank Him for the joys and hand over the burdens.  When I don't do this the bucket gets full until it has no choice but to overflow into a heaping, chewed gum, chicken sandwich throwing mess.  And I have I mentioned how heavy a full bucket is?  But God's peace is light and freeing.  "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. The will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:30-31. 

Ain't no eagles flying around with a bunch of buckets 'round their necks. 

So my point is this.  Empty your bucket.  Even when things are great and the vacation is wonderful and the day is perfect.  God needs to be a part of your good days just as much as your bad ones.  Take care of your soul everyday.  Because there's a lot of gum out there and you never know when you're going to step in it.  XOXO...Kelly    

Now.

We just returned home last night for a long weekend in the New Braunfels area with Kevin's parents.  It's a tradition we started a few summers ago.  We take off for a few days to a beach or river somewhere and just hang out and it is wonderful!  There is a special kind of bonding that comes with squeezing your whole family into a condo or beach house somewhere that simply can not be beat.  Everyone is exhausted today, of course, so I plan to exercise some of my super parenting skills and allow the boys an extra hour on the Wii while I do laundry.  And then it's back to the grind!  The school year is almost upon us and I really can't believe how fast the summer flew.  Remember when I said several weeks ago that I fear the summer?  All the heat and wide open expanses of time needing to be filled.  But as it turns out I do not mind the heat that much (which either makes me crazy or some kind of adaptation super mutant) and the extra time with my kids was just what I needed.  So now I sit at the brink of another school year and temptation is pulling at me once again.  Part of me wants to be sad, mourn the loss of summer, wish my soon to be kindergartener and first grader could be toddlers again, angst over whether or not I cherished them enough while they were home.  The other part of me says, arg, this is hard, and longs for the days they can stay home by themselves and I don't have to drag four less than willing little boys to Target with me, and dreams of uninterrupted manicures and Jazzercise.  But the bottom line is I don't think God wants me in either of those places.  Oh, I love my babies.  I loved them when they were little and pudgy and cute and giggly and I am sure the time ahead of me when I can move with a little more freedom will be justly deserved.  But what I really love is the NOW of my life.  I love what God has given me to enjoy now.  Michael is smart as a whip.  Blake thinks he's a weapons specialist.  Zachary is working hard to improve his "arm-pit toots".  Parker yells at all of them in baby talk.  It's precious!  How could I possibly want to miss it?  How can I be a good parent, wife, friend, sister, disciple if I'm constantly looking back with longing and ahead with anxiety?  As Kevin and I were floating on the river the other evening, watching all the college kids make a ruckus, I said to him, "I remember that college was fun, but there's no part of me that wants to go back."  (To be fair, watching a group of ragged 20 year olds nearing the end of a long tube ride accompanied by their favorite alcoholic beverage isn't really a good post card for any university.)  Isn't that what God's peace is for all of us?  That no matter what lies ahead and what lies behind, His joy meets us right where we are.  Sometimes the now is rough,  but I believe God provides for every moment of our lives and His greatest desire that we would see Him in them.  Father, I praise you with highest gratitude for what you've given me, for a past and a future touched by You.  But I thank you especially for today and the joy that comes from all that is before me now.  Amen. 

XOXO....Kelly

I'm really, really ridiculously good looking--Part 2

While visiting my parents in Pittsburgh last week I unearthed these photos.  When I was 16, I wanted nothing more than what every 16 year old girl wants.....for someone to follow her around with a camera fashion model style and take beautiful pictures of her and only her.  (If you're female and you're thinking, "I never wanted that" then you are lying to yourself.  If you're male and you've suspected this of our gender all along, well, what can I say.  It's part of our charm.)  So my parents treated me to a Glamour Shot session for my birthday.  Look out world, here I come....

These first two series are really aimed at capturing my sophisticated side.  When you're trying to capture this sort of essence it's helpful to flare your nostrils a little bit.  I love how the fur collar matches the natural highlights in my hair and how my eyes twinkle like the studs on the silver vest.  I can picture myself driving away from the studio in my red Chrysler Sebring convertible with white leather seats.  Fancy!!

 

A little more luxury here.  I bet if you saw me on the street wearing that black and gold jacket you'd assume I was worth a million dollars.  But I'm really just like the rest of you.  And look at how they've played with my image a little on the last line of pictures.  The denim and black says I am tough, a force to be reckoned with, but the teddy bear reminds you that I have a softer side.  How about that last shot?  That's right...eat your heart out.   

 

If looking at these photos inspires you to do nothing more than this right now I will rest well tonight....think of that person that drove you nuts in high school or broke your heart or picked on you and let it go.  Because thank God for the mercy and grace that allows us to be better than we were at 16!  "The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree; he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon" Psalm 92:12.  But cedars and palm trees don't grow over night.  The process for some is slower than others, but make no mistake.  He who began a good work in you will keep on doing it, moving us from Glamour Shots to glory with the quiet strength of His hand.  That saying about people peaking in high school doesn't account for the chance that God gives each of us everyday to get better.  Maybe it's yourself that you need to forgive and accept that spiritual growth is something that never ends.  Yes, we end this life as imperfect as we begin in, but we do get better!!   "We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with EVER INCREASING glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" 2 Cor 3:18.  I know several people right now doing amazing things for themselves, allowing God to move in their spiritual lives, in their finances, in their health.  You are in my prayers everyday.  Know that His glory in you is becoming greater everyday, too.

 

But back to these photos.  Look...my hair makes a perfect triangle.  Awesome.   

XOXO....Kelly

     

Tippy and Toby

My sister, Terri, is an animal lover.  Well, except for pigs and cats.  They are taken on a case by case basis.  But basically she loves animals and she has an especially soft spot for dogs.  (I will pause here to point out that I tell this story with Terri's full permission.  You know, in case there are those out there afraid to be my friend or hang out with me because you think you'll end up in a blog some day.)  Terri would probably have 78 dogs by now if it wasn't for Tippy. 

(Serious work Tippy on the left....playful happy hour Tippy on the right)

Terri found Tippy limping along the side of the road in Tomball with no collar on a few years ago.  We have a strict rule against picking up dogs without collars and tags because it's hard to find their owners and that's just a good way to end up with extra animals.  Like this guy.

 

Anyone want a Chihuahua?  Let me know!!  :)  Anyhoo.....because the limping was so sad Terri broke the collar rule and brought Tippy home.  After a little rehab and vet care and some failed attempts to find Tippy a home, Tippy became a permanent member of the family.  She is very lovely, sweet and protective, but Tippy does not get along with other animals.  In fact, the only other animal she gets along with is this guy, Toby.

(There is no work/happy hour Toby.  He looks like this all the time.) 

Toby is Terri's other dog.  She adopted him when she was in college.  Toby is some sort of heeler shepherd mix, which pretty much means he can chase a ball for 23 hours straight.  During the one hour he is willing to rest, he will demand your pillow.  Don't try to move him.  He will growl at you.  He's got one brown eye and one crazy blue eye.  He refuses to walk on a leash.  But I guess that works for some gals because Tippy will not attack Toby and only Toby.  As such, Terri has had to stop at just two dogs.  I have had, for many years, a theory about all of this.  I think God saw Terri coming (of course He did!).  I think He knew her heart (of course He did!) and knew where it was headed.  And so He sent Tippy.  Otherwise, like I said, 78 dogs. 

When Moses was getting ready to hand things over to Joshua, Moses reassured Joshua, "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you" Deuteronomy 30:8.  God knows who we are and who we're meant to be.  His word assures us that as much as He stands beside us today, He also goes before us with plans for us to prosper, to give us a future and a hope; to make the rough places smooth; the crooked ways straight.  The Lord that moved before Joshua and Moses also comforted His disciples, "In my Father's house there are many rooms...I am going there to prepare a place for you" John 14:2.  Our Father's house is one of many rooms indeed.  Enough for 78 or 79 dogs easily.  He knows the best and the worst of each of us and wants us in those rooms anyway.  We praise you, Lord, that as you have stood with us in the past and as stand with us today, you also move before us, in hope and in mercy, to prepare a way for us on earth and a home with you in heaven.  XOXO...Kelly

It's a Beaver.

If you're not from around these parts or even if you are and you've just never stopped at a Buc-ee's you are missing out.  For those not so familiar with the friendly beaver beacon of the highway, Buc-ee's is a chain of convenience stores owned by Arch "Beaver" Aplin III and Don Wasek.  The business partners opened their first store in Lake Jackson in 1982 and have since gone on to open 20 more in Texas (like we needed one more reason to be the most awesome state in the union).  As far as rest stops go they are amazing.  They are well-stocked, well-staffed and freakishly clean.  Their gift section is so amazing that my sister, Terri, plans to do all of her Christmas shopping at Buc-ee's this year.  But the best thing about Buc-ee's....okay, second best since clean bathrooms is a pretty big priority...are the Beaver Nuggets.  Beaver Nuggets are what would happen if a Cheetos puff mated with Crunch-n-Munch and the cheese part didn't make the DNA cut.  As far as snacks go they are amazing.  Every time I buy a bag I eat the whole thing.  Once my sister bought a bag and I ate hers, too.  They are delicious.  And I'm sure loaded with vitamins and fiber.  I don't know.  I'm afraid to read the label.  Anyhooo.....the thing about Beaver Nuggets is that I never mean to eat the whole bag.  I intend to ration it.  But as it sits on the kitchen counter I grab a handful on my way to the laundry room.  And then back to the living room.  And then to the pantry.  And the backyard and so on and so on until, in the matter of a day or two, I have consumed the whole bag.  Sin sort of works the same way.  No one wakes up looking to make a huge mistake, but one misstep here, another there.  One compromise leads to another and before we know it the bag is empty.  Each small handful of actions has turned into a huge collection of problems and God seems very much left out.  Any nutrition professional will tell you that the key to eating healthier is to pay attention to all the little extras that by the end of the day really start to add up.  The same concept applies to our spiritual health.  One explicit lyric here and there may not seem like much but an entire album of them?  An entire season of television shows full of affairs, murder and deceit?  How can we not be affected by all that?  It's a slippery slope to sin (or in this case a crunchy, buttery, sweet slope), but rest assured God will always be waiting at the bottom waiting to tip the decline back up in your favor.  He is the ultimate Alka Seltzer for your bag of Beaver Nuggets (I may have just taken this analogy too far).  "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things" Philippians 4:8.  Put your mind on all the very good and wonderful things Christ has put before us and work like a beaver on a dam to keep it there.  But should you start to waver (and we always do) know that there is no distance so far for you to travel that God will not and can not pull you back to His side.  It is the gift of grace and it is for each one of us.  XOXO...Kelly

P.S. Terri...I want some Beaver Nuggets for Christmas.    

It's July 4!! Puppies and diamonds for everyone!!!

I will admit I've never had strong feelings about July 4 before.  Well, with two exceptions.  One year we got to bring a puppy home from our annual 4th of July family celebration.  That was awesome!  Kevin also proposed to me on July 4.  That was really awesome!  If he'd given me a puppy along with the proposal that would have been really, really awesome.  But I digress....  Clearly neither of those two events--awesome as they were--had anything to do with the actual spirit behind July 4, which is, of course, to celebrate the independence of this great nation (and it is great!!) and all the blessings thereof.  Then yesterday morning happened.  It had been quite a week for the nation, I think.  Lots of emotions running high after Wednesday's news both in Texas and in DC.  No matter which side of the issues you sit on there is certainly lots to pray about.  So our anthem in church that morning, Heal Our Land, was more than fitting.  And following the anthem (and sermon, etc.) our church also recognized the various individuals and teams serving on mission trips this summer.  The crowd at the altar was overwhelming and, as we prayed over them, I could not help but start to cry.  As a youth director mission trips were part of my job.  I never considered myself particularly passionate about mission work, which is okay.  We all have different spiritual gifts.  But plan them, execute them and serve on them I did.  And I can say with full confidence that I have never, never, never done a mission project, whether a day or a week, that did not change my life in some way.  So while mission trips and July 4 don't seem to go much together either they have everything to do with each other!  What better way do we have to celebrate the freedom and independence of our citizenship than to reach out as God's hands and feet and put healing into action?  We are free to share our faith, to share our resources, to share our lives with one another.  Whatever the issues are, God sits with the people on both sides of them.  I don't know when I'll get the chance to serve on a mission trip again.  The kids are so young right now (and there are so many of them!), but I will get out there again some day.  And if you've never done it or even if it's just been a while find an opportunity and go for it.  We praise you, God, for the freedom from sin we find in you and the freedoms we enjoy in this nation.  Let us not waste the opportunity to exercise those freedoms and step out in faith to be Your Healing in this land.  Amen!  XOXO....Kelly

          

I'm really, really ridiculously goodlooking....

...but I can not sing ooooo's.  You know, where in a song there are no words, just a bunch of oooo's.  I'm like the Derek Zoolander of the music world.  He can't turn left.  I can't sing ooo's.  Ask anyone who has ever had to sit beside me before in a choir.  I can be clipping along, belting out a song with no problem, but as soon as you take the words away it's like I lose all musical balance and completely fall off the bike.  I don't even hum well.  I am nothing without the words.  But isn't this the same for all of us?  Where are any of us without the word of God?  "Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features doesn't mean that we still can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."  Or need the word of God with us and behind and before us each day!  "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path" Psalm 119:105.  God's word is not just concerned with us here and now, as a personal talisman we can pull a verse from now and again when we want something cool for our letter jackets or a nice quote for our wall.  It is both concerned with who we are ("my feet") and where we are going ("my path").  God's word is our infallible authority, our guide for life, our deed for inheritance, our stability and our strength (from God's Promises, Word Publishing).  "Heaven and earth shall pass away; but my words shall not" Mark 13:31.  God wants you in His word.  He wants you to spend time with the Bible, study it, ask questions about it, pray on it, lean on it.  He wants you to know the peace and joy that comes with knowing Him better.  And that's a good thing!!  Otherwise we're all just wandering around indiscriminately singing oooo's with all the wrong notes.  Or just mouthing "ooooo" while everyone else who can find the right notes sings around you.  That's pretty much what I do now.  SO READ YOUR BIBLE!!  And have a very good day.  :)  XOXO...Kelly