Tuesday, February 28, 2017

When your husband has no love language...

I missed a mention of Valentine's Day (or rather I was too busy shoving my face full of chocolate to be inspirational about it), but since it was not so long ago and Lent is just around the corner.....please allow me to talk about love for a moment or two.

(How do Lent and Valentine's at all relate to one another, you ask?? How do they not!!  I'll explain.) 

Prompted by a group I'm involved in at church, I recently took the 5 Love Languages quiz.  The 5 Love Languages, authored by Gary Chapman, is a personal assessment that helps you understand by what manner you feel most loved--gifts, time, acts of service, words of affirmation or physical touch.  The idea is that by understanding what moves you as an individual, you and your partner can better understand each other and respond to one another in more loving ways.  Kevin was absent the night we took the quiz, so I asked him to just guess which one he thought he was most inline with.

"Sound logic and indisputable facts" was his reply.

Right. 

You're starting to feel a little sorry for me, aren't you?? 

We have long-joked in our family that Kevin, like the tin man, was born without a heart.  This is, of course, a huge exaggeration and my husband is one of the most amazing people I know (I write all of this with his permission!!) and he is far better at loving me than I am at him some days.  Because, as fate would have it, this man of logic and reason is closer to the truth of love than many people I know!  That is, love does not feel and then act.  Love simply acts.

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:13-19

We waste a lot of time waiting to be in the mood to do things.  Like signing up to help at school or deliver a meal to someone recovering.  Or extending grace and forgiveness.  Or apologizing.  Love does not require a mood of us at all.  Love is in action word!  And when it is aligned with the will of God and the grace of Christ, the pressure of our own worthiness--or anyone else's for that matter--is taken off and we can simply move in it.

After all, what sacrifice could you possibly make that Christ has not made for you already??

(See, Lent.  I told you.)

My love language is words of affirmation, by the way.  I like a nice note every once in a while.  Kevin's not super great at flowery words, but then again, I'm not great at sound logic and indisputable facts.  May God have mercy on both of us!! 



XOXO....Kelly