New vans and old bladders....

We got a new(er) van just before Christmas.  For those of you that know of our old van, you know it was dearly loved, but pretty much just what you would expect for a family riding around with four little boys.  Rough.  We resolved to give up on prideful vehicles a long time ago, but when the door locks stopped working Kevin put his foot down.  So we upgraded and our new(er) van has all sorts of fancy bells and whistles.....a DVD player, heated seats, a heated steering wheel, automatic doors and door locks that work.  As I often like to say, there is sooooo much on this van for us to break.  It's going to be great.

Earlier this week, Parker and I headed out of Jazzercise for a quick trip to Target.  I should have used the restroom before we left Jazzercise, but I still like to believe I have the bladder of a 20-year old.  Everything else is aging, so I try to cling on to what I can.  It, of course, is nowhere near the bladder of a 20-year old and so I was in a pretty desperate condition by the time I got to Target.

Parker has just recently learned to use the automatic door lock buttons and insists on opening and closing the door by himself every time we go somewhere.  While he understands the basic principle behind the button, the particulars trip him up sometimes.  Like, don't hit it more than once or don't hit the button when someone is standing in front of the door.  And so there I stood, in the Target parking lot, trying to get my 2 1/2 year old out of the van--who is managing to pin my arm in the car door because he won't stop hitting the automatic door button--and all the while ready to pee everywhere.

When I finally freed us, I noticed a young 20-something young man staring as he passed by.  Wonder what he was thinking.  After all, there's not much more attractive than a 35-year old mother of four wetting her Jazzercise pants in the Target parking lot while shouting at her son to quit slamming the door shut on her arm. 

Fortunately I made it into the store before any real damage was done and managed to get the few groceries I came for as well.  We'll call that one a success.  Next time, who knows.

Some days the sun shines, the sky is blue and Target has everything you need in stock.  Other days you pee all over yourself in the parking lot before you even get inside.  Can there be peace on such as day as this?  You betcha.

"We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed....Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."  2 Cor 4:8,9,16

God's work in you continues, my friend, every day--rain or shine, good or bad--no matter what.  His peace renews us, providing light where darkness threatens to take over.  Father, help me to rely on that.  When my patience is tested and my circumstances seem desperate, let your peace take over.  When my body fails and technology backfires, it is the only way.  Amen.

XOXO......Kelly

Mama Jan

A long time friend of mine lost her mother this weekend.  "Mama Jan" struggled for so many years bravely and gracefully, and is at peace at last.  I think about the many ups and downs her family went through alongside her, the spirit of hope that kept them all together. 

We've all been there in one capacity or another...staring into the face of fear and uncertainty.  Illness, job loss, a broken relationship.  Mistakes abound.  Circumstances fail us.

But there is always hope.

I lift my eyes unto the hills--where does my help come from?
My help is in the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:1-2

Let what brings us to our knees, be what brings us to Christ.  Let our heads not bow in defeat, but in fervent prayer.  Let hope replace your sorrow, your fear, your uncertainty.  There is always hope.

To my friend, I know your pain is great and your loss immeasurable.  What an inspiration you and your family are, how you've lived for so long in hope and joy and faithfulness.  This road has been a long one, the road ahead longer still.  May God's peace surround you in the coming days.  May His hope continue to live and grow in each one of you.  You are in our thoughts and prayers always. 

XOXO....Kelly

Greater

I learned recently that in the first 100 years after the Great Wall of China was built, it was breached only three times.  And none of those times included any damage to the wall itself.  All the enemy had to do was bribe the gatekeeper.

A week ago I ripped the sinks and countertop out of our 2nd upstairs bathroom and began a little remodeling up there.  I enjoy a good home project and more than once Kevin has come home to find a countertop taken off or a giant hole in the ceiling because I got inspired by something I saw on Pinterest.  On a good day, I regard home improvement as a hobby.  Something that keeps my hands and mind busy, my creativity fed.  On a bad day I am obsessed with it.  As if a new set of sinks and a countertop is the answer to whatever anxiety or frustration I am feeling at the moment. 

All too often I find myself paying more attention to what's going on around me than focusing on what's going on within me.  Like a gatekeeper at the Great Wall, it matters not the magnitude of what I've built, tended and painted.  If I am not willing to tend to what's inside me first, all the enemy has to do is walk right through.

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."  1 John 4:4

There's a great song from MercyMe called Greater and it is based on this verse.  I take great comfort in knowing that no matter what is going on around me, that none of it is greater than the God whose spirit lives inside me.

Are there circumstances you are trying to control in order to make you feel better about something that's going on inside of you?  Or maybe it's your circumstances that are the problem.  Your clothes, your house, your job, your friends....they just never seem to measure up.  Take comfort--there is still peace to be had.  Peace when in plenty, and peace when in want. 

For the One that is in you will ALWAYS be greater than what's going on around you.

XOXO....Kelly

"Greater" by MercyMe

 

Bring your tired
And bring your shame
Bring your guilt
And bring your pain
Don't you know that's not you're name
You will always be much more to me

 

Every day I wrestle with the voices
That keep telling me I'm not right
But that's alright

 

'Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed
When others say I'll never be enough
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world
In the world
In the world
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world

 

Bring your doubts
And bring your fears
Bring your hurt
And bring your tears
There'll be no condemnation here
You are holy, righteous and redeemed

 

Every time I fall
There'll be those who will call me
A mistake
Well that's OK

 

'Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed
When others say I'll never be enough
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world
In the world
In the world
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world

 

(He's Greater, He's Greater)

 

There'll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn't matter
'Cause the cross already won the war

 (He's Greater, He's Greater)

 

I am learning to run freely
 Understanding just how He sees me
And it makes me love Him more and more

 (He's Greater, He's Greater)

 

There'll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn't matter
'Cause the cross already won the war

 (He's Greater, He's Greater)

 

I am learning to run freely
Understanding just how He sees me
And it makes me love Him more and more

(He's Greater, He's Greater)

 

'Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed
When others say I'll never be enough
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world
In the world
In the world
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world

 

There'll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn't matter
'Cause the cross already won the war

He's Greater, He's Greater

 

I am learning to run freely
Understanding just how He sees me
And it makes me love Him more and more

My God is greater (He's Greater, He's Greater)
Than he who is living in the world