Steps

Kevin and I got Fitbits a few weeks ago.  (In case you haven't heard of them, they're all the rage in the health and fitness world.)  We've been carefully watching our steps, trying each day to reach our personal goals.  The day after Thanksgiving we went on a long family walk (no pun intended) together.  About 20 minutes into the walk I noticed that Kevin had twice the steps I did.  This made no sense!  We'd walked the same distance together.  It should have been more equal.  Kevin asked if I'd been swinging my arms at all, that sometimes it doesn't read a step without your arm movement.  Well, no, I had not been swinging my arms....I was pushing the stroller!  You mean to tell me that all of the times I'm pushing a stroller or carrying something my steps don't get counted because my arms aren't swinging??!!  Do you know how many times I'm pushing a stroller or carrying something?  Good Lord!!!

As you can imagine, I was pretty frustrated.  All that walking for nothing!  How many other steps have I taken that haven't been recorded?  Why even walk?!  What's the point if it isn't going to show up on your fancy little wristband doohickie?

Well, of course I know there's a point.  All that walking is just as good whether it shows up on my Fitbit or not.  It's just nice to have a little feedback, a little affirmation that you're doing the right thing.  (Feel free to fill in the blank with your own personal struggle here...raising children, changing jobs, buying a house, helping a friend, etc., etc., etc.)

And yet, sometimes the feedback we crave most dearly is the very thing we've got to let go of.  Those challenges met in God's name are also going to succeed in God's time, which we all know is not our own.  Sometimes we get to see the fruits of our labor.  Sometimes we don't.  But each step is just as important, whether the world counts it or not.

"....He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6 

Hang in there all you exercisers, parents, teachers, friends, spouses and the like.  Your steps count. 

XOXO....Kelly

Today I threw a fit.

I'm a big fan of a well-timed fit, the kind that only comes after you've exercised a considerable amount of self-control and blessing-counting, but, despite your greatest efforts, all you can do is scream.  I had such a fit earlier today.  I have become decreasingly discouraged about the way something in my life is going lately and finally I lost it.  Fortunately only Parker was home to witness it and he was pretty much outside the entire time. 

No, I don't want a hug.  Please don't tell me to take a deep breath.  And I don't care if you have a mixture of essential oils that will help calm me down.  All I want to do is scream.  And this is why....

Because being grateful is good.  Having self-control is good.  Choosing joy is good.  But none of those things can I do on my own.  None of those things can I do without the grace of God.  And, for me, throwing a fit is realizing that I need that grace.  That I'm human.  That I have selfish, human feelings.  That I do not have it together all the time. 

So I cry and I yell and then I pray.  I pray for forgiveness for the ways my heart and my emotions betray His will for me.  I pray for the things I try to take into my own hands instead of trusting Him.  I pray for the blessings I overlook that come from adversity.  I pray for my gratefulness to be rooted in Him because that's the only way it's going to last.  I pray until my sorrow and anger has subsided and His spirit has filled me once again.

I am grateful, not for what I have, but because of what God is able to do with what I have...  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

I have self-control because He is in control...  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8

I know joy because I find it in Him...  "For the joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10

Fit-throwing isn't pretty.  It's not admirable.  It's one of those things we usually reserve for toddlers in the middle of the Target toy aisle.  But I guess that's the point.  No matter how old we get or mature in our faith, God is still our Father.  We will always be His children.  And we need to be pulled back to His side from time to time, when we've strayed too far or tried to do too much on our own.  I'm thankful God is more merciful to me than I am to my own fit-throwing toddler.  I guess a little grace in that department wouldn't hurt either.  But with the grace of God I will pull myself back together and regain a little composure.  After all, Elf on the Shelf season is just around the corner and I'm gonna need a whole lot of patience for that.... 

XOXO....Kelly

The Gap.

So this is how my life goes sometimes.  I'm at point A.  I want/need/expect to be at point B.  In between is a big ol' gap. 

Here's an awesome diagram to help you visualize what I'm trying to say. 

 

You're welcome.  Now continuing on....

I don't know what's going to happen during that gap, how I'm really going to get from A to B, so I fill the gap. 

I fill the gap with worry.
I fill the gap with doubt.
I fill the gap with anxiety.
I fill the gap with impatience.

You know who knows what's going to happen during my gap?  God does.  He has my gap covered. 

A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.  Proverbs 16:9

Fill your gap with faith.  (I've now used the word "gap" 8 times so far.)  Wherever you are, God is with you, and wherever you might be headed, He is already there.  Lean in close.  Pray specifically.  Those footprints in the sand are not just your own.

Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.  Psalm 119:105
 
Both your present and your future are in His hands.  He might give you more than you can handle, but never more than He can.  So what is your unknown today?  Can you let it go?  Can you trust God with your gap?   

Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise you
And I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days*

XOXO....Kelly

*"Step By Step" by Rich Mullins