Well, it’s been a while. For those who are keeping track (or are now! 😊) I have answered a call to vocational ministry, become a local licensed pastor of the United Methodist Church appointed to the Foundry and started classes at Perkins Theological Seminary through their Houston-Galveston Extension Program. That’s a whole lot of words to say that as God speaks, I am doing my best to obey. All of this on top of life as a wife and mother has left very little room in my head to write here as I have so enjoyed doing in the past. My words come out as either mush or a shopping list with very little in between. (By the way, I'm out of milk.) But this morning two things happened…
1. I realized what I haven’t been praying for.
I started this phase of life 18 years removed from college. That means I have slept A LOT since the last time I had to write a paper or read a textbook. The old memory ain’t what she used to be, and I have been operating under the assumption that’s just how it’s going to have to be. I will do school, check off the boxes and get on with it.
But I have been wrong.
School is not easy and not just because of the brain power it takes to focus, learn and produce, but because of the ways God speaks to us when we are open to hearing him. To put it frankly, in my own life driving carpool is far easier than tackling the issues of faith that sit on my heart, but this is not God’s will for me. Yes, of course, I will drive the carpool but I cannot hide in it. I believe that God has put issues on my heart because they reflect His heart. I believe that God has gifted me to learn, search, discover, pray and preach because this reflects His heart for His people. I believe that God knows how old and tired my brain is, but that won’t stop Him!
Lord, you have given me a message, a path, a calling. I may not see it all right now, but I can trust it. You are not done yet. Give me the courage to consider that I might be smart enough or capable enough to do this whole school thing in Your name and with Your strength.
2. Someone spoke truth to me.
About an hour after having this whole realization that I might actually be called for a reason I received a message from a friend encouraging me to write again. (Seriously. You can’t make this stuff up!) She did not know that I have been praying for a long time to find my voice again. She did not know that I had decided that maybe God had just decided He was done with that for me.
Wrong again.
It is not my voice anyone needs to hear. It’s God’s. I don’t know how often and I don’t know how well I can manage it, but I believe in a God that won’t let my “I don’t know’s” stop Him!
Lord, I thank you for Pacquitta who spoke truth to me today in Your name. You have given her a message, a path, a calling. How grateful I am that she is on it.
What are you not praying for today? And who is God using to show you the way? We are not alone in this, friends. Brains—old and new!—are being stretched, hearts expanded and mountains moved EVERY. DAY. because our God is not done with us yet. Not even close. Praise God, indeed! Praise Him for all of it.
XOXO…Kelly
