When your 9 year olds be trippin'....

It all started around September as my oldest began to settle into being 9 (if you've ever had a 9 year old you know what I mean) and sort of came to a head this morning when my youngest announced that he no longer needs a stool to reach the light switches.  I sat in the kitchen and cried. 

Just when you think you've mastered one phase, you enter another. 

Jesus and I had a heart to heart this morning about the challenges of parenting and letting go, and I felt compelled to share these words He put on my heart with you. 

You know, just in case 9 is tripping you up a little as well..... 

XOXO...Kelly


Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
   Holy Father, you sit as the ultimate parent over all of us.

Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
   Help me to do Your will in my role as a parent, to guide my children toward You.

Give us this day our daily bread...
   Work through me, that my children would have what You know they need today, not what the world thinks they need. 

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
   Forgive me for the ways I have fallen short.  Help me to show grace when my kids aren't perfect either.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
   Keep me true to your path, not tempted to take an easy way out--short of temper and prone to   anger--but resting in the goodness of your promises and grace.

For thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
   For these lives you have entrusted to my care are Yours and Your alone, God.  Help me to raise them to Your will and to Your glory, putting my trust in you and enduring the difficult seasons as you endure them with me. 

Amen.

When your husband has no love language...

I missed a mention of Valentine's Day (or rather I was too busy shoving my face full of chocolate to be inspirational about it), but since it was not so long ago and Lent is just around the corner.....please allow me to talk about love for a moment or two.

(How do Lent and Valentine's at all relate to one another, you ask?? How do they not!!  I'll explain.) 

Prompted by a group I'm involved in at church, I recently took the 5 Love Languages quiz.  The 5 Love Languages, authored by Gary Chapman, is a personal assessment that helps you understand by what manner you feel most loved--gifts, time, acts of service, words of affirmation or physical touch.  The idea is that by understanding what moves you as an individual, you and your partner can better understand each other and respond to one another in more loving ways.  Kevin was absent the night we took the quiz, so I asked him to just guess which one he thought he was most inline with.

"Sound logic and indisputable facts" was his reply.

Right. 

You're starting to feel a little sorry for me, aren't you?? 

We have long-joked in our family that Kevin, like the tin man, was born without a heart.  This is, of course, a huge exaggeration and my husband is one of the most amazing people I know (I write all of this with his permission!!) and he is far better at loving me than I am at him some days.  Because, as fate would have it, this man of logic and reason is closer to the truth of love than many people I know!  That is, love does not feel and then act.  Love simply acts.

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:13-19

We waste a lot of time waiting to be in the mood to do things.  Like signing up to help at school or deliver a meal to someone recovering.  Or extending grace and forgiveness.  Or apologizing.  Love does not require a mood of us at all.  Love is in action word!  And when it is aligned with the will of God and the grace of Christ, the pressure of our own worthiness--or anyone else's for that matter--is taken off and we can simply move in it.

After all, what sacrifice could you possibly make that Christ has not made for you already??

(See, Lent.  I told you.)

My love language is words of affirmation, by the way.  I like a nice note every once in a while.  Kevin's not super great at flowery words, but then again, I'm not great at sound logic and indisputable facts.  May God have mercy on both of us!! 

XOXO....Kelly

Nothing cuter than a mouse...

This summer we welcomed two sweet, adorable mice into our family....Daisy and Twinkle.  Twinkle took to life in our home right away and thrived in only the way a mouse can thrive.  Daisy on the other hand stayed quite small and from time to time we noticed marks on her face and ears.  Just after Thanksgiving we made the difficult decision to separate the two mice for fear that the marks on Daisy were caused by Twinkle.

(Yes, I'm still talking about mice.  I use the word "difficult" lightly.)

After two days of separation the marks became worse.  Clearly there was no mouse abuse going on here so I turned to Google.  After several minutes (it seemed like hours) of intensive research we determined that Daisy must have a food allergy.  It was recommended we cut out wheat products from her diet.  Daisy, it seems, is gluten free.

(Yes, I'm still talking about mice.)

I also learned that once a mouse starts scratching a spot they can develop almost compulsive behavior and continue to scratch, making the area worse.  It was recommended we rub some hydrocortisone cream onto Daisy's skin and provide her with some therapeutic chewing options, so as to displace the compulsive behavior elsewhere.

(Yes, I'm still talking about mice.)

At some point while I was gently massaging hydrocortisone cream onto Daisy's ears--careful to avoid her mouth, of course, because ingesting it could be deadly--Zachary suggested we take her to the vet.  I looked down at the tiny mouse in my hands and around the room at the Legos, video games and nerf guns strewn about.  I looked at the laundry baskets full of laundry and the bathroom with surfaces to clean.  I looked at my sweet son's face, into his precious green eyes and said, "Zachary....this mouse cost $3.98.  We're not taking it to the vet."

We all have those moments in life, when in the throws of triumph or failure, we are forced to take inventory and readjust our perspective.  The message at church this weekend was taken from Philippians 4. 

"¹⁰ I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. ¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  Our desires may change.  Our needs may vary.  The solution never does.  We can learn to be content whatever the circumstances.  We can shift our perspective.  We can trust Christ for our strength.

Now does this take some effort?  Oh most certainly it does.  Our lives don't change because we get up one day and tell them to.  But little by little and faithful bit by bit we retrain ourselves to look upward.  We learn to let go of our own ways a bit more and seek His first.  And He patiently, like a mother putting cortisone cream on her son's pet mouse, waits for us to come around.  Because, after all, we can do all things....

We expect Daisy will make a full recovery.  The upside to this time of trial is that now we own two mouse cages.  We connected them with a tunnel and it's like a mouse mansion.  A gluten-free, therapy mansion complete with wheels for running and sticks for chewing.  Living in plenty, I'd say.  Wouldn't you??

XOXO....Kelly

The New Year FO' REALZ

I hope everyone had a great Christmas.  I'm sure you're all busy preparing for the New Year now.  I'm preparing to go to bed early so I can get a jump start on all those resolutions I'm probably not going to keep.  With Christmas behind us and a new year ahead I thought I'd take a few minutes to reflect a bit on life this year....

#1...What the heck is a Hatchimal and how did it get to be so popular?  The distant cousin of Tickle Me Elmo, Furby and the Cabbage Patch Kids, the Hatchimals emerged this year as the must-have toy of the season and busily ruined Christmas for millions of kids everywhere.  The big excitement is that when you buy one you don't know what you're getting until it hatches.  And then it hatches.  After that I think it solves world hunger or cures cancer or something.  No?  Apparently it's just another electronic toy.  Hmmm....

#2...Why do everyone's Christmas cards photos look like they spend so much time laughing together in the woods?  And how do you get your hair to stay so nice when you're outside?  And how can you hike in those clothes?  For all the time everyone apparently spends outdoors together Target ought to be a lot less crowded.  You're not fooling anyone, you know, but you do look good!  Sun-kissed and full of fresh air and amazing.  So keep 'em coming.

#3...Can we stop saying "tweens"?  It's the new phrase to describe the period of adolescence right before the teen years, when kids aren't old enough to be really snarky and moody yet but are too old to be spanked.  I feel like most stages in life with kids are "tween" years, waiting for one difficult phase to end so you can enter another so let's just call them all what they are.  HARD.  Delightful, but hard.  :)

#4...2016 was not a tragedy.  There I said it.  Full of ups and downs, yes.  But not a tragedy.  I believe it because I believe God reigns over all of it.  CS Lewis wrote, "We believe the sun is in the sky at midday not because we can clearly see the sun (in fact, we cannot) but because we can see everything else." 

My prayer for the new year ahead is that we deal with the pains of the past and the unknowns of the future with an ever-fervent trust in the Lord and an ever-fixed eye on His hand.  Our faith does not always afford us a look at the bigger picture, but we can be assured that the pieces we do see are within His control. 

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3. 

Stay the course, dear friends.  We cannot clearly see the sun at midday, but oh what a thing is its light, shining on the pieces around us!  If you're spending these final days of the year staring back into the shadows then you are missing the point.  God is everywhere. 

Happy New Year!!
xoxo....Kelly

Kevin and me, New Year's Eve 2005. 

Last New Year's without babies.

The "tween years" if you will. 

   


   

The Holidays FO' REALZ

Happy Holidays, everyone!  Ready or not, it is upon us.  :)  I sat down this afternoon to tackle Christmas cards and drafted a very lovely letter with pictures for all of our family and friends.  It's full of updates and well wishes.  The font is extraordinary and the line spacing is a true work of art.  I am sure everyone who reads it will be so blessed!  But as I look over it I chuckle a little bit.  It is indeed a very true picture of our family and a reflection on the blessings from our year, but it is oh so clean!  Part of me really wants to just send out something like this.....

Dear Family and Friends,

2016 has been a busy year for our family!  Kevin did some stuff at work that was good and important but most notably he grew a beard last fall and has now had it for an entire calendar year!  He's really settled into the role of a bearded guy quite well and we couldn't be more thrilled.

Michael plays soccer and piano and is on student council.  All this and we still can't get him to stop talking about Pokémon.  I don't know about you guys, but it's time for all that to Pokémon GO AWAY.

Blake got braces.  That was expensive.

Zachary is doing really well in school, but he's terrible at making his bed.  We keep thinking he'll notice, but actually he thinks it looks pretty good.  Maybe he needs glasses.  Those sound expensive.

We've been working on getting Parker to wipe his own bottom now for about 6 months.  He did fine with potty training, but we think he finally figured out that we're going to make him move out some day so he's digging his feet in with this one last stronghold.  It can't possibly be that hard.  Of course, no one can be good at everything.  Have you seen Zachary make a bed??

Kelly (that's me!) learned how to order groceries online.  It's awesome!  I wouldn't even care if everything they gave me was past the expiration date.  I DON'T HAVE TO GO INSIDE THE STORE!!

Thanks for being our friends this year!  You mean a lot to us 'cause without you we'd only have each other to hang out with.  To our family, well, you're stuck with us. 

Merry Christmas!
The Long's

....And the picture attached would look like this.

Oh that we might be so authentic!  Maybe it's not Christmas card material, but there is great freedom in cutting to the core of something, and I think from time to time we need to hear it from one another.  If for no other reason than to remember that we're all human.

I've said it once, I'll say it a million times.  HE meets us where we are.  On the top of a mountain, at the bottom of a valley.  Whether your holidays are shaping up to be a veritable wonderland of Christmas magic or Cousin Eddie's out emptying his sewage line into your storm drain...

GOD WAS.

GOD IS.

GOD WILL BE.

And what more can we celebrate than that???

MERRY CHRISTMAS, FRIENDS!

XOXO.....Kelly

When you burp, but no one's listening...

This afternoon Parker told me that when he burps and I'm not around, he doesn't say excuse me.  Awesome.  This parenting thing is going well.     

I told him I appreciated his honesty, but his manners still have a ways to go.  He said you don't have to have manners around your brothers 'cause they don't have any manners either. 

He makes a valid point.

But of course that's not the way it works, really.  Our character isn't something we get to turn on and off.  It's like when your Sunday school teacher tells you that God is always watching you, even when you go to the bathroom, and you get a little terrified and stop wanting to pee.

It's a common misconception that we can be different people in different circumstances.  Like the language you use around your friends is okay as long as you don't use it around your kids.  While there are certainly different levels of appropriate disclosure (you wouldn't tell the neighbor you just met that you've developed a nasty foot fungus or tell your children that you're having trouble with your spouse) who you are and what you're about as the person God has created you to be doesn't get to change based on who's around you. 

Be. Who. You. Are. 

Or better yet, be whose you are. 

"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates"  Deuteronomy 11:18-20

Be who you are, be whose you are, wherever you are.  Whether at home or at work or at school or at church.  At play or at rest.  Bind the truth of God to your character so that it may not be separated from it in any circumstance.  Because God does not stop walking with us, even when we try to stop walking with Him.

XOXO...Kelly

I don't quite have it all together yet this year.

Hey, remember last year, when I had it all together?  No?  Well, this school year isn't looking much better.  New teachers, a new grade level we've never been through before.  New position on the PTO board.  Do not ask me which day is library day for any of my children.  I have NO idea.  Michael says we grounded him earlier in the week, but I have no recollection of what for or from what!  About the time I start acclimating to the newness of things going on around me it will be the holidays and then God help us all...

It's a good lesson in life to know your own limits.  For example, when I wake up at 2am and can't go back to sleep because the thought pops into my head that I should re-learn Spanish.....I'm getting close.  Such evenings usually inspire me to go to the calendar first thing the next morning and see what I can thin out or reschedule.  Or, better yet, say no to before I begin.  You know, like team photos at the YMCA and exercise classes. 

But then there are the challenges we have to face, the ones there are no getting around.  Homework, illness, job responsibilities, Halloween.  For these I take comfort in knowing that God is already on the other side of them.

"For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping.  But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance." Genesis 45:6-7

These are Joseph's words of forgiveness to his brothers when they were reunited years after he had been abandoned by them.  During the years in between Joseph endured slavery, prison and loneliness.  But the Lord was with Joseph not just in his present struggles, but in the future that lay ahead of him.  His trust in God not only allowed him to make it through the years of hardship, but helped him to forgive the family that betrayed him at the start of it all.  His story is one of redemption in its greatest form. 

So bring it on, I guess.  If Joseph can handle Egypt, I can handle the 4th grade. 

Heavenly Father, you are the God of my yesterday, my today and my tomorrow.  There is not an outcome that You don't already see, not a day You don't hold in your hand.  Help me to lean on Your assurances when the going gets tough, Lord.  For You are with us, now and always.

XOXO...Kelly

Here's one of our dogs, Miss Cordelia Drexel Biddle Long.  She doesn't quite have it all together yet either.  But her attitude is good.  :)