Second grade is killing me!!!

Aaaaahhhhh!  Second grade is killing me!!  We're only 20 days in.  Okay, okay.  We're only 20 days in.  But suddenly my sweet little baby has 2 teachers, 3 subjects of homework, quizzes and actual grades!  Where did first grade go?  Can we go back there?  I liked first grade.  It seemed so manageable, so friendly.  Look at this face.  Who could want to make life hard for this face?!

It's not like I didn't see this coming.  I have memories of second grade myself, which I actually attended at the same school Michael is in right now.  I know what it's like to start something new, something challenging.  And while I walk him to school in the morning and tuck him into bed at night saying wonderfully supportive and encouraging things in my head I'm all like, "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!  We're going to fail 2nd grade!" 

And now deep breaths. 

Of course we're not going to fail 2nd grade.  Our school is wonderful.  Our teachers are wonderful.  Michael is wonderful.  But don't you sometimes just feel so inadequate?  Like you are suddenly totally unprepared for what's in front of you?  It's not just about kids either.  It's the illness you didn't see coming, the family drama tearing you apart, the change in circumstances, relationships and jobs. 

Life is freakin' hard sometimes.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed.
Perplexed, but not in despair.
Persecuted, but not abandoned.
Struck down, but not destroyed.  II Cor 4:8-9

When Paul wrote this he spoke of the believer as having "treasure in jars of clay".  That is, the love and power of God within us not because of anything we did, but because of who God is.  We are only vessels, fragile and breakable, like a jar made of clay.  It's what God has put inside of us that makes us worthy, that makes us strong.  That allows us to endure.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  II Cor 4:8-9, 1-18

We are but jars of clay and what we are up against, be it 2nd grade or anything else, could easily shatter us. 

But. It. Won't.

For what God has in store for us is far outweighs it all. 

I love you, sweet Michael.  I'm going to have a glass of wine now, darling, and a good night's sleep and you and me and Jesus....we're gonna tackle this 2nd grade thing tomorrow.  I promise.

XOXO.....Kelly


 

Why I think "living without regret" is a silly thing to say.

I'll never forget the day one a young teenager told me she had decided to live life from this point forward without regretting anything.  I'm sure I smiled and nodded at the time, but what I really wanted to say was GOOD LUCK.  She's young, I thought.  She'll learn.  But then there are a whole lot of grown adults out there saying the same thing.

There are easy enough ways to avoid regret.  For example, I know I will not regret putting off folding the laundry to read my son a bedtime story.  But then there are the decisions that you feel absolutely convicted about at the time you make them that turn out to be the wrong ones.  Like when you are sure the seafood salad at Subway is a good idea, but it turns out to taste like actual, literal garbage instead.  No?  That hasn't happened to anyone else?  What about the relationship you ended or the job you turned down?   

To live without regret is to disregard our need for God's grace in our lives, to presuppose we have a clue about the larger picture of His plan.  God's word is full of reminders to look forward and not back, but we have to acknowledge our mistakes, that despite our best efforts and most careful planning we don't have all the answers. 

We are going to do lots of dumb things, suffer all sorts of loss, make all sorts of mistakes.  We're too human not to.  We can't dwell on them, fixate over them, let them define us (see previous blog entry about my awesome advice to "get over it").  But regret reminds us that we are human, we cannot do it alone and we need God's grace to move forward.  Only then can God take your regret and transform it, making beauty from ashes.      

So if your motto for living is "live each day without regret" just knock it off.  Maybe try "live each day in God's grace" or "live each day doing the best you can and learning from your mistakes" or "I will try not to do anything stupid today" instead.  Or no motto at all!  I don't know.  As our pastor reminded us a few weeks ago, the only thing we can be sure of on any given day is God's presence with us and His love for us.  That's motto enough for me.

XOXO....Kelly
 

I cleaned out the garage!!

A little DIY carpentry project with my good friend Jennifer (check out her blog at http://www.stilllivingthedream.com/ as she is mucho awesome) led to an entire afternoon of cleaning the garage.  I swept, dusted, threw away, reorganized and decluttered. When I was done all I could think was, "I guess we'll never be able to use the garage again."  It was just so clean!  When the boys came in and threw their scooters down all haphazard and willy-nilly I almost lost it!  Could they not see the new and clearly designated scooter parking zone?  Seriously!!

I have to admit this is not the first time I've had this feeling.  I also tend to get this way when I clean bathrooms, the kitchen, the living room, bedrooms, the linen closet.  You know, like let's just go ahead and move to the fort out back so none of this stuff I spent all this time cleaning gets messed up.

Yes, I know.  It's stupid.

And it brings to mind this scripture. 

"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds?  Can such faith save him?  Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical need, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." James 2:14-17

We have to clean out the garage from time to time.  It's a good thing (less you have recently read the Mary and Martha scripture and think that means don't clean your house...don't even get me started on that one!!).  We have to tend to our faith, nurture it, let it grow.  Go to church, study scripture.  But then we've got to use it!!  James says, "You believe that there is one God.  Good!  Even the demons believe that--and shudder" (v. 19).  Your faith simply can not stop at a belief or what is there to separate you from even the Evil one?  Anyone can believe.  But when our faith and actions work together, our faith is made complete (v. 22). 

Put to good use the things you spend so much time tending to.  In your schools, in your neighborhood, at your workplace.  Put your faith into action.  Your life is not a museum.  Don't live it like one. 

XOXO...Kelly