Why I think "living without regret" is a silly thing to say.

I'll never forget the day one a young teenager told me she had decided to live life from this point forward without regretting anything.  I'm sure I smiled and nodded at the time, but what I really wanted to say was GOOD LUCK.  She's young, I thought.  She'll learn.  But then there are a whole lot of grown adults out there saying the same thing.

There are easy enough ways to avoid regret.  For example, I know I will not regret putting off folding the laundry to read my son a bedtime story.  But then there are the decisions that you feel absolutely convicted about at the time you make them that turn out to be the wrong ones.  Like when you are sure the seafood salad at Subway is a good idea, but it turns out to taste like actual, literal garbage instead.  No?  That hasn't happened to anyone else?  What about the relationship you ended or the job you turned down?   

To live without regret is to disregard our need for God's grace in our lives, to presuppose we have a clue about the larger picture of His plan.  God's word is full of reminders to look forward and not back, but we have to acknowledge our mistakes, that despite our best efforts and most careful planning we don't have all the answers. 

We are going to do lots of dumb things, suffer all sorts of loss, make all sorts of mistakes.  We're too human not to.  We can't dwell on them, fixate over them, let them define us (see previous blog entry about my awesome advice to "get over it").  But regret reminds us that we are human, we cannot do it alone and we need God's grace to move forward.  Only then can God take your regret and transform it, making beauty from ashes.      

So if your motto for living is "live each day without regret" just knock it off.  Maybe try "live each day in God's grace" or "live each day doing the best you can and learning from your mistakes" or "I will try not to do anything stupid today" instead.  Or no motto at all!  I don't know.  As our pastor reminded us a few weeks ago, the only thing we can be sure of on any given day is God's presence with us and His love for us.  That's motto enough for me.

XOXO....Kelly