"Mom, what happened to your face?"

That's what Michael said when he happened upon this picture of me the other day. 

Well, 40 and a half weeks of pregnancy, 16 hours of labor and C-section.  The miracle of childbirth.  That's what happened to my face.  I don't begrudge him the question at all actually.  If there was any maternal glow about me following the birth of my first child it came much later, after I'd had a sandwich and something to drink.  I can admit that.

Here's what I looked like shortly after Blake was born (#2), 13 months later.

 

 

My face may have fared a little better, but I have no idea what day it is and by the time they took this photo I'd already called both boys in this picture the names of both dogs in this picture.  We were tired.

 

Here's post-Zachary (#3).  I had my stuff together by this one.

 

Look at that....I even blow-dried my hair.  Let's be honest.  By this point I'd caught on to the whole two nurses thing and the fact that the baby can sleep all night in the nursery there if you so choose.  It's like a vacation!

And Parker (#4).

We realized how much much time we had before this one would start to talk back.  Someone get me a margarita!

Oh, how a little time and perspective can just change your whole world, can't it?  I'm not sure that I'm any more equipped as a mother than I was in that first photo, but I sure have learned a lot since then. 

I've learned that God loves me.  I mean really loves me.  He loved me just as much before I had kids, but I didn't understand in the way that I do now, with four little pieces of my heart walking around outside me.

I've learned that God has a purpose for me.  I'm not always perfect and I don't always hit the mark, but that's what grace is for.  I've learned to lean on grace.

I've learned that my kids don't complete me and I don't complete my kids.  They can be cute and wonderful and magical and sweet.  But I can't be their everything and they can't be mine.  There's far too much in the world for all of us, though what we have in each other is certainly a nice bonus.

I've learned compassion, though I've still got a ways to go with patience.  I've learned to pray instead of criticize, praise instead of moan, coach instead of push, ask instead of demand.

I've learned to be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances. 

I've learned that life changes you, kids change you, marriage changes you, but God is surprised by none of this.  He is ready when I am not, giving though I am not deserving.

So, I guess that's what happened to my face, Michael.  And you're totally worth it.  :)

XOXO...Kelly  

  

 

 

 

 

 



Change.

A question came up in my book club a couple of weeks ago....do you think it's really possible for people to change?  I mean really change, like from the core.  Or are we just who we were meant to be and will always be?  I once dated a guy who was very philosophic.  And by very philosophic I mean he studied intently the lyrics of Radiohead and drank a lot of Starbucks.  He once said he didn't think people ever really changed, they just continued to undo layers of themselves, like onion skin, until they got to the core of who they were supposed to be.  (Can you hear my eyes rolling???)

As a Christian, I think the idea deserves a little thought.  I know people who don't change or won't change.  The people we've forgiven but seem to keep right on wronging us.  And that's aggravating and difficult and unfair and maybe Jesus didn't know about those people when he mentioned forgiving 77 times???  But He did know about them, of course, which reminds us that forgiveness has nothing to do with deservedness or we'd all be toast. 

And what about myself?  I'm certainly not the same gal I was back with Mr. Radiohead.  So is that just age or maturity or circumstances and not real change? 

What I think I've come to is this.  Change is just a word.  Call it aging, maturing, circumstance, unlayering.  Whatever.  But to abandon the idea that our lives and circumstances, our emotions, our spirit aren't capable of becoming more than they are or have ever been, is to deny ourselves and others hope, to deny God's love for us.

To reject the concept of change for anyone is to doubt the power of God in everyone. 

"Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold....the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect God's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."  2 Corinthians 3:12,17-18

Be bold in your hope, friends, for yourself and for those around you.  God's spirit is at work everywhere, in ways we see and ways we do not.  You are loved, you are held, you are His.  Be changed in Christ today.

XOXO....Kelly

 
 

Happy Easter.

"It was the Saturday before Easter, and Mom and I were headed to Lowes to buy flowers...." 

When I want to hear my family groan I simply start with that sentence.  It's the tale of how the precious and wonderful Oscar Mayer Long came into our lives, what I jokingly refer to as the true miracle of Easter.  Wasn't he a doll!!!!!????

I love Holy Week.  It is undeniably my favorite week of the whole year.  I don't love it because it marks the time in my life when I would, at long last, get a dachshund puppy of my own.  I love it because no matter what is going on in my life--loss or gain, happiness or sadness--I am reminded of my own worth. 

From Christ's triumphant entry into Jerusalem, to His betrayal in the garden.

From the injustice of His trial, to the cruel magnitude of His suffering.

From His death on the cross, to the miracle of His resurrection. 

He did it for me.  And for you.  And for the person next to you!  He did it for all of us.  Do you know the worth of that?  Can you feel the love of God, designed to reach everyone of us no matter where we are, where we've been or what we are to become? 

Dang.

My pride is brought low, my humility raised up, so that in everything His glory would shine through me.  Christ came to bring healing to a hurting world, to redeem us by His mercy in ways we do not always understand, with a love we can not fathom.  He died to save us and in God's power, was raised again. 

"For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God.  I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ who lives within me.  The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who love me and gave himself for me.  I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"  Galatians 2:19-21

Christ is Risen, friends. 

Because I am worth it.  And so are you.

Happy Easter. 

XOXO.....Kelly