"Mom, what happened to your face?"

That's what Michael said when he happened upon this picture of me the other day. 

Well, 40 and a half weeks of pregnancy, 16 hours of labor and C-section.  The miracle of childbirth.  That's what happened to my face.  I don't begrudge him the question at all actually.  If there was any maternal glow about me following the birth of my first child it came much later, after I'd had a sandwich and something to drink.  I can admit that.

Here's what I looked like shortly after Blake was born (#2), 13 months later.

 

 

My face may have fared a little better, but I have no idea what day it is and by the time they took this photo I'd already called both boys in this picture the names of both dogs in this picture.  We were tired.

 

Here's post-Zachary (#3).  I had my stuff together by this one.

 

Look at that....I even blow-dried my hair.  Let's be honest.  By this point I'd caught on to the whole two nurses thing and the fact that the baby can sleep all night in the nursery there if you so choose.  It's like a vacation!

And Parker (#4).

We realized how much much time we had before this one would start to talk back.  Someone get me a margarita!

Oh, how a little time and perspective can just change your whole world, can't it?  I'm not sure that I'm any more equipped as a mother than I was in that first photo, but I sure have learned a lot since then. 

I've learned that God loves me.  I mean really loves me.  He loved me just as much before I had kids, but I didn't understand in the way that I do now, with four little pieces of my heart walking around outside me.

I've learned that God has a purpose for me.  I'm not always perfect and I don't always hit the mark, but that's what grace is for.  I've learned to lean on grace.

I've learned that my kids don't complete me and I don't complete my kids.  They can be cute and wonderful and magical and sweet.  But I can't be their everything and they can't be mine.  There's far too much in the world for all of us, though what we have in each other is certainly a nice bonus.

I've learned compassion, though I've still got a ways to go with patience.  I've learned to pray instead of criticize, praise instead of moan, coach instead of push, ask instead of demand.

I've learned to be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances. 

I've learned that life changes you, kids change you, marriage changes you, but God is surprised by none of this.  He is ready when I am not, giving though I am not deserving.

So, I guess that's what happened to my face, Michael.  And you're totally worth it.  :)

XOXO...Kelly