Do they see you coming?

My dad is a GOOD dad.  I mean, a really good dad.  He has always been a good dad, doing the things a good dad should do.  Like showing up to a late night play rehearsal when I was in high school and yelling at the director that we had no business being up at school at 9pm.*  Dude, he was pissed.  But he was right and none of the other parents were willing to do it.  We never had a rehearsal that late ever again.  (*It is with time and great maturity that I am able to appreciate this act of my father.  At the time I was just really, really embarrassed.) 

He was also prone to sending notes to school with us.  Like when he found something incorrect in a textbook.  "Dear Mrs. Soandso, Do you realize the graph on page 77 detailing oil and gas trends in the US across the last 5 years is inaccurate?  I'll assume this is not the sort of misinformation we want in our textbooks and ask that you please advise when we can expect a correction."

I am not kidding.

One time he stopped the school principal at open house to tell her the mascot paw was wrong.  THE PRINCIPAL.  He even brought a book with him to reference the correct anatomy.  To his credit, this is a bear paw print....

And this was the paw print of the mighty Fiest Elementary Bears....

I mean, really.  How could he not have said something?

I like to tease him that when our car pulled up in the parking lot the administration had to prepare themselves.  Especially if we had a note with us.  They could see him coming from a mile away.  He made no mystery of what he was about and still doesn't. 

And I love it.

"For I am not ashamed of the Good News about Jesus Christ.  It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes."  Romans 1:16

Do they see you coming?  Do they know what you're about?  Is your love of mercy, of grace, of justice and peace so apparent that they know your Lord before you even open your mouth? 

Do you live your life unashamed of the truth in Jesus Christ?

Heavenly Father, there are so many things I can be today, so many places I can rest my identity.  Am I a mother?  A wife?  A neighbor?  When I approach others what do they see first?  Is my faith a mystery to others?  Is it ever a question what I stand for?  Please help me not to make it so.  Fill me with your spirit in such a way that today and everyday, Lord, they see You first.  Always You.  Amen.

XOXO....Kelly





 

It's not about you.

We've all been there.  Across the cash register from the grumpy clerk or customer.  Snapped at by a friend when we did not deserve it.  Believe me when I say, unless you're just the most unpleasant person on the face of the planet, whatever bad mood you've had to endure today, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

I realize that's a difficult pill to swallow.  Life should be fair.  Treatment should be just.  But it's not always that way.  Chances are whatever led the snap, the grump, the rude remark to come about, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

I worked at Einstein Bagels in college.  I stood next to a coworker one day, the morning after her husband walked out on her.  Do you know what mornings are like in a bagel shop?  Can you imagine what serving bagels and coffee to dozens and dozens and dozens of people first thing in the morning is like under the heartache of a broken marriage? 

I watched people rush, demand, frown at my coworker.  Was it their fault she was in a bad mood?  No, certainly not.  But then where is mercy?  Where is grace?  Aren't we better than that?  Aren't we bigger than demanding everyone treat us like sunshine and rainbows every second of the day?   

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked,  'Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me?  Up to seven times?'  Jesus answered, 'I tell you not seven times, but seventy times seven!'"  Matthew 18:21-22

If the next thing out of your mouth is, "Well, I'm sorry he/she is having a bad day, but that still doesn't give him/her the right..." just stop it.  You are right.  No one has the right to be mean to you.  But for so many, at the heart of their struggle, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

So try to be nice.  Try to smile anyway.  There's no reason to be personally offended by something that really has nothing to do with you.  And you never really know what's going on, on the other side of the cash register.

XOXO....Kelly

Second grade is killing me!!!

Aaaaahhhhh!  Second grade is killing me!!  We're only 20 days in.  Okay, okay.  We're only 20 days in.  But suddenly my sweet little baby has 2 teachers, 3 subjects of homework, quizzes and actual grades!  Where did first grade go?  Can we go back there?  I liked first grade.  It seemed so manageable, so friendly.  Look at this face.  Who could want to make life hard for this face?!

It's not like I didn't see this coming.  I have memories of second grade myself, which I actually attended at the same school Michael is in right now.  I know what it's like to start something new, something challenging.  And while I walk him to school in the morning and tuck him into bed at night saying wonderfully supportive and encouraging things in my head I'm all like, "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!  We're going to fail 2nd grade!" 

And now deep breaths. 

Of course we're not going to fail 2nd grade.  Our school is wonderful.  Our teachers are wonderful.  Michael is wonderful.  But don't you sometimes just feel so inadequate?  Like you are suddenly totally unprepared for what's in front of you?  It's not just about kids either.  It's the illness you didn't see coming, the family drama tearing you apart, the change in circumstances, relationships and jobs. 

Life is freakin' hard sometimes.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed.
Perplexed, but not in despair.
Persecuted, but not abandoned.
Struck down, but not destroyed.  II Cor 4:8-9

When Paul wrote this he spoke of the believer as having "treasure in jars of clay".  That is, the love and power of God within us not because of anything we did, but because of who God is.  We are only vessels, fragile and breakable, like a jar made of clay.  It's what God has put inside of us that makes us worthy, that makes us strong.  That allows us to endure.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  II Cor 4:8-9, 1-18

We are but jars of clay and what we are up against, be it 2nd grade or anything else, could easily shatter us. 

But. It. Won't.

For what God has in store for us is far outweighs it all. 

I love you, sweet Michael.  I'm going to have a glass of wine now, darling, and a good night's sleep and you and me and Jesus....we're gonna tackle this 2nd grade thing tomorrow.  I promise.

XOXO.....Kelly


 

Why I think "living without regret" is a silly thing to say.

I'll never forget the day one a young teenager told me she had decided to live life from this point forward without regretting anything.  I'm sure I smiled and nodded at the time, but what I really wanted to say was GOOD LUCK.  She's young, I thought.  She'll learn.  But then there are a whole lot of grown adults out there saying the same thing.

There are easy enough ways to avoid regret.  For example, I know I will not regret putting off folding the laundry to read my son a bedtime story.  But then there are the decisions that you feel absolutely convicted about at the time you make them that turn out to be the wrong ones.  Like when you are sure the seafood salad at Subway is a good idea, but it turns out to taste like actual, literal garbage instead.  No?  That hasn't happened to anyone else?  What about the relationship you ended or the job you turned down?   

To live without regret is to disregard our need for God's grace in our lives, to presuppose we have a clue about the larger picture of His plan.  God's word is full of reminders to look forward and not back, but we have to acknowledge our mistakes, that despite our best efforts and most careful planning we don't have all the answers. 

We are going to do lots of dumb things, suffer all sorts of loss, make all sorts of mistakes.  We're too human not to.  We can't dwell on them, fixate over them, let them define us (see previous blog entry about my awesome advice to "get over it").  But regret reminds us that we are human, we cannot do it alone and we need God's grace to move forward.  Only then can God take your regret and transform it, making beauty from ashes.      

So if your motto for living is "live each day without regret" just knock it off.  Maybe try "live each day in God's grace" or "live each day doing the best you can and learning from your mistakes" or "I will try not to do anything stupid today" instead.  Or no motto at all!  I don't know.  As our pastor reminded us a few weeks ago, the only thing we can be sure of on any given day is God's presence with us and His love for us.  That's motto enough for me.

XOXO....Kelly
 

I cleaned out the garage!!

A little DIY carpentry project with my good friend Jennifer (check out her blog at http://www.stilllivingthedream.com/ as she is mucho awesome) led to an entire afternoon of cleaning the garage.  I swept, dusted, threw away, reorganized and decluttered. When I was done all I could think was, "I guess we'll never be able to use the garage again."  It was just so clean!  When the boys came in and threw their scooters down all haphazard and willy-nilly I almost lost it!  Could they not see the new and clearly designated scooter parking zone?  Seriously!!

I have to admit this is not the first time I've had this feeling.  I also tend to get this way when I clean bathrooms, the kitchen, the living room, bedrooms, the linen closet.  You know, like let's just go ahead and move to the fort out back so none of this stuff I spent all this time cleaning gets messed up.

Yes, I know.  It's stupid.

And it brings to mind this scripture. 

"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds?  Can such faith save him?  Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical need, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." James 2:14-17

We have to clean out the garage from time to time.  It's a good thing (less you have recently read the Mary and Martha scripture and think that means don't clean your house...don't even get me started on that one!!).  We have to tend to our faith, nurture it, let it grow.  Go to church, study scripture.  But then we've got to use it!!  James says, "You believe that there is one God.  Good!  Even the demons believe that--and shudder" (v. 19).  Your faith simply can not stop at a belief or what is there to separate you from even the Evil one?  Anyone can believe.  But when our faith and actions work together, our faith is made complete (v. 22). 

Put to good use the things you spend so much time tending to.  In your schools, in your neighborhood, at your workplace.  Put your faith into action.  Your life is not a museum.  Don't live it like one. 

XOXO...Kelly

When there's room for improvement....

In a recent discussion about health and physical fitness, Kevin and I both agreed we have room for improvement.  He wants to eat less carbs and get back into running.  I've resolved to stop eating an entire bag of Buccee's Beaver Nuggets in one sitting.  I know, I know.  We should probably market our new plan.  We'd make millions, but then I'm afraid of what all that money would do to the character of our family.  So in the meantime we'll just consider this a public service and offer this advice to everyone for free. 

You're welcome.

Is there really anything I can point to in my life right now that doesn't have a little room for improvement?  Let's see....

Parenting. 

Nope, looks good there.

 

 

Housework.

 

This is going to look really good when I get finished, so we'll go ahead and put a checkmark by that one as well.

 

Personal appearance.  I have managed a shower almost every day this week.  Not once have I forgotten to brush my teeth.  And then there's my fashion sense.

 

Check. 

 

The kids recently asked me if we could add a spoiler and some racing stripes to the minivan, you know, to make it look cooler.  As if there was any way a white Dodge Grand Caravan could possibly be cooler.  So I'll give myself a check minus there.  But beyond that I think we're covered. 

 

Oh, except for the days when I'm not covered and need this reminder.

 

"Praise the Lord...His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love."  Psalm 147

 

Lord be with me on the days that I need to remember that my horses (or horsepower!!) and legs are what they are.  Is there always room for improvement?  Absolutely.  Is there anything wrong with working to make things better?  Not at all.  But God's delight does not rest  here.  His delight comes from the condition of our hearts no matter what the outside of us looks like.

 

I know some people doing amazing things, life-transforming things.  Friends and family members that have lost staggering amounts of weight, fought their way back from depression and anxiety, stepped into the role of a single parent, taken on a new career, overcome bad habits.  Praise God for his work in you!  You are worth the hard work it takes to get there, every bit of it.  Keep up the good work, even after the days that you fall completely off the wagon.  Rest in the assurance that He who began a good work in you will see it through to completion. Phil 1:6  God's love for you is unfailing, and nothing delights him more than those who would receive it today.

 

Receive it, friends.  Receive it. 

 

(I mean, can you believe you're reading this for free?  Again, you're welcome.) 

 

XOXO....Kelly

 

 

 



8-minute miles

Isn't it curious the things we hold on to sometimes?  Like when I was training for the 1/2 marathon back in the winter.  I was obsessed with being too slow.  I couldn't believe that I couldn't beat an 11 minute mile.  I mean, I used to be able to run an 8 minute mile.  In seventh grade.  But somehow my mind totally ignored the fact that was 31 years ago and I was actually upset not to have run faster.

Last night I dreamt about a friend from high school I have not thought about in years.  An incident was brought to mind that I had nearly forgotten about, but now can't seem to stop dwelling on.  It's like the last 14 years haven't happened at all.  My feelings are right back where they were in high school. 

Now for those of you that know me well, this is truly ironic.  I've often remarked what a terrible therapist I would because the only real advice I'm capable of giving anyone is GET OVER IT.  Not entirely thoughtful is it?  I have zero tolerance for baggage and people that choose to carry it.  And yet, here I sit, suddenly burdened by what was a blink in time for my teenage self.  Why such a dream at such a time?  Oh, where is Joseph and his coat of many colors when I need him??

Paul gives this encouragement in Philippians.  "....I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." 

In other words, get over it. 

It doesn't matter what happened yesterday.  Christ Jesus has taken hold of you.  You are redeemed.  You are a new creation.  His love does not erase your past.  It brings you up and out of it and beyond it, for He is greater than that which is in this world. 

Maybe I've never forgiven my friend.  Maybe I've never forgiven myself.  Maybe I've got to stop letting little boys and dachshunds wake me up all night and actually get some rest. 

But one thing is for certain.  Christ has taken hold of me.  Whatever the future holds He is already there.  To look back is to move away from the prize for which God has called me heavenward, to move away from all the He has in store for me.  I'm not who I once was, way back in high school or in seventh grade.  And, frankly, thank God for that!!

XOXO....Kelly