I was a drama kid in high school....in a good way. I mean, I acted, performed in plays. I had the time of my life doing it, taking on new roles, new costumes, new sets. I remember the bond formed with fellow cast members, the kind that can only be formed after weeks and weeks together going over the same five scenes, missing lines and trying not to laugh. So it was fun to see a few friends' children perform in CAPA's (Cypress Academy of Performing Arts) Wizard of Oz this month. The kiddos were PRECIOUS and I imagine them getting to have some of the same fun I did back in high school.
My own children have not spent a lot of time in the theater and they loved it. Blake declared that it was just like regular movies "but with real people", and he was thrilled that candy and popcorn was available during "halftime". If you've not seen a show recently find one. There's something about live theater that you just can't get anywhere else. I felt like I got a piece of my youth back just watching.
All that aside, the Wizard is an idiot. You probably knew that, though. He hides behind a curtain, has no real power, etc., etc., etc. But it was his final words to the Tin Man that made me want to run up on stage and hug him and ask him what misguided person had given him such advice in his lifetime. Bless his heart.
The line I'm referring to is, "A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others."
Oh, sweet, stupid Wizard. No it's not.
"You have heard that is was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matthew 5:43-48
Not everyone worth loving is going to love you back. But we do our hearts and Christ's church a huge disservice when we choose to draw the line there. It's true, the feeling of being liked and loved is a good one, a great one even. I remember when Facebook first became popular. Several of the kids in my youth group had a race to see who could get to 1000 friends first.
But if you're waiting on popularity to make you complete you'll be waiting for a long time.
Perfect love is not easy love. It means opening yourself up to someone who might not like you back. Love is an action word, though, and love is as love does. May our hearts follow suit.
XOXO....Kelly
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Thursday, October 16, 2014
The way, the truth, the life.
"Thomas said to him, 'Lord we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?' Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' " John 14:6
Flashback to Sandy, UT circa 1993, Hilltop United Methodist Church. A star was born. My first singing gig in an exclusive worship group called Praise. We had our own t-shirts and matching skirts. It was kind of a big deal. I had my first solo in a song called The Way, The Truth, The Life. It was a combination of jaw-dropping vocals and amazing dance movements. I blame/thank my parents for not owning a video camera. Here's a photo of what life looked like then.
Anyway, the song is based on the lyrics of the above-referenced verse and would be burned into my youthful brain for years to come. Sometimes God works like that. He plants a seed He knows you'll need later when you're a little older and much wiser to appreciate it.
THE WAY. Fast-forward to January 2007. I'm three weeks from the due date of our oldest son, Michael. (My praise t-shirt and matching skirt does not fit any longer for very obvious reasons.) In a freak, totally undeserved set of circumstances, Kevin loses his job. He had only graduated from law school 9 months before and taken the bar exam a short time later. I spent a good majority of the pregnancy praying that God would provide for us in such a way that I could stay home to raise our children. I had a good job, but it was not what I wanted. So when Kevin called with the news, I sat at the table in our tiny kitchen and dropped my head. I prayed these words, "Lord, let there be a way." And in that moment, the strangest peace came over me.
THE TRUTH. Michael was born on February 5. Through sleepless nights with a newborn and new mama hormones I fought back the panic of our unknown future and simply tried to remember the peace I felt that afternoon at my kitchen table. Kevin was doing contract work for a firm and enjoying it. We had a number, the salary it would take for me to be able to stay home with the baby. Everyday he went to work and everyday I prayed for God's providence. I was due back to work on May 20. On May 10 Kevin was offered a full time job with the firm he was doing contract work for. The salary offer was the exact number we needed.
THE LIFE. I've experienced a number of life-altering moments in my own lifetime, but none has had the impact on me that this one did. Even as we rejoiced, we considered, should I still go back to work? I mean, two salaries would be awfully nice and my job was really great. But no one can serve both God and money. And when you've spent the last 12 months praying for God to provide, and then He does it, you don't just hand it back. At that point it became clear to me, for the first time ever, what it meant to live in God's will. To rest, no matter how hard, no matter how tempted, in His peace.
We all feel like Thomas and the disciples did from time to time. Lost. Unsure. How will we know the way? And that's why churches put groups of preteen heart-throbs together to remind you, in perfect harmony, of His word. We know because HE IS.
He is the Way.
He is the Truth.
He is the Life.
And there's no other way around it.
Whatever you're struggling with, have you handed it over to God yet? And if He's answered, have you said yes? There is peace for you, friends. There is a Savior who loves you, sees you where you are and meets you where you're going. I don't know this because I'm smart, because I'm good at singing or because I've got extra special connections with the Big Guy upstairs. I know this because I made a commitment 7 1/2 years ago at my tiny kitchen table to trust in His way, to trust in His truth and to trust in His life.
And now there's no other way around it.
XOXO....Kelly
Flashback to Sandy, UT circa 1993, Hilltop United Methodist Church. A star was born. My first singing gig in an exclusive worship group called Praise. We had our own t-shirts and matching skirts. It was kind of a big deal. I had my first solo in a song called The Way, The Truth, The Life. It was a combination of jaw-dropping vocals and amazing dance movements. I blame/thank my parents for not owning a video camera. Here's a photo of what life looked like then.
Anyway, the song is based on the lyrics of the above-referenced verse and would be burned into my youthful brain for years to come. Sometimes God works like that. He plants a seed He knows you'll need later when you're a little older and much wiser to appreciate it.
THE WAY. Fast-forward to January 2007. I'm three weeks from the due date of our oldest son, Michael. (My praise t-shirt and matching skirt does not fit any longer for very obvious reasons.) In a freak, totally undeserved set of circumstances, Kevin loses his job. He had only graduated from law school 9 months before and taken the bar exam a short time later. I spent a good majority of the pregnancy praying that God would provide for us in such a way that I could stay home to raise our children. I had a good job, but it was not what I wanted. So when Kevin called with the news, I sat at the table in our tiny kitchen and dropped my head. I prayed these words, "Lord, let there be a way." And in that moment, the strangest peace came over me.
THE TRUTH. Michael was born on February 5. Through sleepless nights with a newborn and new mama hormones I fought back the panic of our unknown future and simply tried to remember the peace I felt that afternoon at my kitchen table. Kevin was doing contract work for a firm and enjoying it. We had a number, the salary it would take for me to be able to stay home with the baby. Everyday he went to work and everyday I prayed for God's providence. I was due back to work on May 20. On May 10 Kevin was offered a full time job with the firm he was doing contract work for. The salary offer was the exact number we needed.
THE LIFE. I've experienced a number of life-altering moments in my own lifetime, but none has had the impact on me that this one did. Even as we rejoiced, we considered, should I still go back to work? I mean, two salaries would be awfully nice and my job was really great. But no one can serve both God and money. And when you've spent the last 12 months praying for God to provide, and then He does it, you don't just hand it back. At that point it became clear to me, for the first time ever, what it meant to live in God's will. To rest, no matter how hard, no matter how tempted, in His peace.
We all feel like Thomas and the disciples did from time to time. Lost. Unsure. How will we know the way? And that's why churches put groups of preteen heart-throbs together to remind you, in perfect harmony, of His word. We know because HE IS.
He is the Way.
He is the Truth.
He is the Life.
And there's no other way around it.
Whatever you're struggling with, have you handed it over to God yet? And if He's answered, have you said yes? There is peace for you, friends. There is a Savior who loves you, sees you where you are and meets you where you're going. I don't know this because I'm smart, because I'm good at singing or because I've got extra special connections with the Big Guy upstairs. I know this because I made a commitment 7 1/2 years ago at my tiny kitchen table to trust in His way, to trust in His truth and to trust in His life.
And now there's no other way around it.
XOXO....Kelly
Friday, October 10, 2014
Do they see you coming?
My dad is a GOOD dad. I mean, a really good dad. He has always been a good dad, doing the things a good dad should do. Like showing up to a late night play rehearsal when I was in high school and yelling at the director that we had no business being up at school at 9pm.* Dude, he was pissed. But he was right and none of the other parents were willing to do it. We never had a rehearsal that late ever again. (*It is with time and great maturity that I am able to appreciate this act of my father. At the time I was just really, really embarrassed.)
He was also prone to sending notes to school with us. Like when he found something incorrect in a textbook. "Dear Mrs. Soandso, Do you realize the graph on page 77 detailing oil and gas trends in the US across the last 5 years is inaccurate? I'll assume this is not the sort of misinformation we want in our textbooks and ask that you please advise when we can expect a correction."
I am not kidding.
One time he stopped the school principal at open house to tell her the mascot paw was wrong. THE PRINCIPAL. He even brought a book with him to reference the correct anatomy. To his credit, this is a bear paw print....
And this was the paw print of the mighty Fiest Elementary Bears....
I mean, really. How could he not have said something?
I like to tease him that when our car pulled up in the parking lot the administration had to prepare themselves. Especially if we had a note with us. They could see him coming from a mile away. He made no mystery of what he was about and still doesn't.
And I love it.
"For I am not ashamed of the Good News about Jesus Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes." Romans 1:16
Do they see you coming? Do they know what you're about? Is your love of mercy, of grace, of justice and peace so apparent that they know your Lord before you even open your mouth?
Do you live your life unashamed of the truth in Jesus Christ?
Heavenly Father, there are so many things I can be today, so many places I can rest my identity. Am I a mother? A wife? A neighbor? When I approach others what do they see first? Is my faith a mystery to others? Is it ever a question what I stand for? Please help me not to make it so. Fill me with your spirit in such a way that today and everyday, Lord, they see You first. Always You. Amen.
XOXO....Kelly
He was also prone to sending notes to school with us. Like when he found something incorrect in a textbook. "Dear Mrs. Soandso, Do you realize the graph on page 77 detailing oil and gas trends in the US across the last 5 years is inaccurate? I'll assume this is not the sort of misinformation we want in our textbooks and ask that you please advise when we can expect a correction."
I am not kidding.
One time he stopped the school principal at open house to tell her the mascot paw was wrong. THE PRINCIPAL. He even brought a book with him to reference the correct anatomy. To his credit, this is a bear paw print....
And this was the paw print of the mighty Fiest Elementary Bears....
I mean, really. How could he not have said something?
I like to tease him that when our car pulled up in the parking lot the administration had to prepare themselves. Especially if we had a note with us. They could see him coming from a mile away. He made no mystery of what he was about and still doesn't.
And I love it.
"For I am not ashamed of the Good News about Jesus Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes." Romans 1:16
Do they see you coming? Do they know what you're about? Is your love of mercy, of grace, of justice and peace so apparent that they know your Lord before you even open your mouth?
Do you live your life unashamed of the truth in Jesus Christ?
Heavenly Father, there are so many things I can be today, so many places I can rest my identity. Am I a mother? A wife? A neighbor? When I approach others what do they see first? Is my faith a mystery to others? Is it ever a question what I stand for? Please help me not to make it so. Fill me with your spirit in such a way that today and everyday, Lord, they see You first. Always You. Amen.
XOXO....Kelly
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
It's not about you.
We've all been there. Across the cash register from the grumpy clerk or customer. Snapped at by a friend when we did not deserve it. Believe me when I say, unless you're just the most unpleasant person on the face of the planet, whatever bad mood you've had to endure today, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
I realize that's a difficult pill to swallow. Life should be fair. Treatment should be just. But it's not always that way. Chances are whatever led the snap, the grump, the rude remark to come about, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
I worked at Einstein Bagels in college. I stood next to a coworker one day, the morning after her husband walked out on her. Do you know what mornings are like in a bagel shop? Can you imagine what serving bagels and coffee to dozens and dozens and dozens of people first thing in the morning is like under the heartache of a broken marriage?
I watched people rush, demand, frown at my coworker. Was it their fault she was in a bad mood? No, certainly not. But then where is mercy? Where is grace? Aren't we better than that? Aren't we bigger than demanding everyone treat us like sunshine and rainbows every second of the day?
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you not seven times, but seventy times seven!'" Matthew 18:21-22
If the next thing out of your mouth is, "Well, I'm sorry he/she is having a bad day, but that still doesn't give him/her the right..." just stop it. You are right. No one has the right to be mean to you. But for so many, at the heart of their struggle, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
So try to be nice. Try to smile anyway. There's no reason to be personally offended by something that really has nothing to do with you. And you never really know what's going on, on the other side of the cash register.
XOXO....Kelly
I realize that's a difficult pill to swallow. Life should be fair. Treatment should be just. But it's not always that way. Chances are whatever led the snap, the grump, the rude remark to come about, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
I worked at Einstein Bagels in college. I stood next to a coworker one day, the morning after her husband walked out on her. Do you know what mornings are like in a bagel shop? Can you imagine what serving bagels and coffee to dozens and dozens and dozens of people first thing in the morning is like under the heartache of a broken marriage?
I watched people rush, demand, frown at my coworker. Was it their fault she was in a bad mood? No, certainly not. But then where is mercy? Where is grace? Aren't we better than that? Aren't we bigger than demanding everyone treat us like sunshine and rainbows every second of the day?
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you not seven times, but seventy times seven!'" Matthew 18:21-22
If the next thing out of your mouth is, "Well, I'm sorry he/she is having a bad day, but that still doesn't give him/her the right..." just stop it. You are right. No one has the right to be mean to you. But for so many, at the heart of their struggle, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
So try to be nice. Try to smile anyway. There's no reason to be personally offended by something that really has nothing to do with you. And you never really know what's going on, on the other side of the cash register.
XOXO....Kelly
Monday, September 22, 2014
Second grade is killing me!!!
Aaaaahhhhh! Second grade is killing me!! We're only 20 days in. Okay, okay. We're only 20 days in. But suddenly my sweet little baby has 2 teachers, 3 subjects of homework, quizzes and actual grades! Where did first grade go? Can we go back there? I liked first grade. It seemed so manageable, so friendly. Look at this face. Who could want to make life hard for this face?!
It's not like I didn't see this coming. I have memories of second grade myself, which I actually attended at the same school Michael is in right now. I know what it's like to start something new, something challenging. And while I walk him to school in the morning and tuck him into bed at night saying wonderfully supportive and encouraging things in my head I'm all like, "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh! We're going to fail 2nd grade!"
And now deep breaths.
Of course we're not going to fail 2nd grade. Our school is wonderful. Our teachers are wonderful. Michael is wonderful. But don't you sometimes just feel so inadequate? Like you are suddenly totally unprepared for what's in front of you? It's not just about kids either. It's the illness you didn't see coming, the family drama tearing you apart, the change in circumstances, relationships and jobs.
Life is freakin' hard sometimes.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed.
Perplexed, but not in despair.
Persecuted, but not abandoned.
Struck down, but not destroyed. II Cor 4:8-9
When Paul wrote this he spoke of the believer as having "treasure in jars of clay". That is, the love and power of God within us not because of anything we did, but because of who God is. We are only vessels, fragile and breakable, like a jar made of clay. It's what God has put inside of us that makes us worthy, that makes us strong. That allows us to endure.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. II Cor 4:8-9, 1-18
We are but jars of clay and what we are up against, be it 2nd grade or anything else, could easily shatter us.
But. It. Won't.
For what God has in store for us is far outweighs it all.
I love you, sweet Michael. I'm going to have a glass of wine now, darling, and a good night's sleep and you and me and Jesus....we're gonna tackle this 2nd grade thing tomorrow. I promise.
XOXO.....Kelly
It's not like I didn't see this coming. I have memories of second grade myself, which I actually attended at the same school Michael is in right now. I know what it's like to start something new, something challenging. And while I walk him to school in the morning and tuck him into bed at night saying wonderfully supportive and encouraging things in my head I'm all like, "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh! We're going to fail 2nd grade!"
And now deep breaths.
Of course we're not going to fail 2nd grade. Our school is wonderful. Our teachers are wonderful. Michael is wonderful. But don't you sometimes just feel so inadequate? Like you are suddenly totally unprepared for what's in front of you? It's not just about kids either. It's the illness you didn't see coming, the family drama tearing you apart, the change in circumstances, relationships and jobs.
Life is freakin' hard sometimes.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed.
Perplexed, but not in despair.
Persecuted, but not abandoned.
Struck down, but not destroyed. II Cor 4:8-9
When Paul wrote this he spoke of the believer as having "treasure in jars of clay". That is, the love and power of God within us not because of anything we did, but because of who God is. We are only vessels, fragile and breakable, like a jar made of clay. It's what God has put inside of us that makes us worthy, that makes us strong. That allows us to endure.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. II Cor 4:8-9, 1-18
We are but jars of clay and what we are up against, be it 2nd grade or anything else, could easily shatter us.
But. It. Won't.
For what God has in store for us is far outweighs it all.
I love you, sweet Michael. I'm going to have a glass of wine now, darling, and a good night's sleep and you and me and Jesus....we're gonna tackle this 2nd grade thing tomorrow. I promise.
XOXO.....Kelly
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Why I think "living without regret" is a silly thing to say.
I'll never forget the day one a young teenager told me she had decided to live life from this point forward without regretting anything. I'm sure I smiled and nodded at the time, but what I really wanted to say was GOOD LUCK. She's young, I thought. She'll learn. But then there are a whole lot of grown adults out there saying the same thing.
There are easy enough ways to avoid regret. For example, I know I will not regret putting off folding the laundry to read my son a bedtime story. But then there are the decisions that you feel absolutely convicted about at the time you make them that turn out to be the wrong ones. Like when you are sure the seafood salad at Subway is a good idea, but it turns out to taste like actual, literal garbage instead. No? That hasn't happened to anyone else? What about the relationship you ended or the job you turned down?
To live without regret is to disregard our need for God's grace in our lives, to presuppose we have a clue about the larger picture of His plan. God's word is full of reminders to look forward and not back, but we have to acknowledge our mistakes, that despite our best efforts and most careful planning we don't have all the answers.
We are going to do lots of dumb things, suffer all sorts of loss, make all sorts of mistakes. We're too human not to. We can't dwell on them, fixate over them, let them define us (see previous blog entry about my awesome advice to "get over it"). But regret reminds us that we are human, we cannot do it alone and we need God's grace to move forward. Only then can God take your regret and transform it, making beauty from ashes.
So if your motto for living is "live each day without regret" just knock it off. Maybe try "live each day in God's grace" or "live each day doing the best you can and learning from your mistakes" or "I will try not to do anything stupid today" instead. Or no motto at all! I don't know. As our pastor reminded us a few weeks ago, the only thing we can be sure of on any given day is God's presence with us and His love for us. That's motto enough for me.
XOXO....Kelly
There are easy enough ways to avoid regret. For example, I know I will not regret putting off folding the laundry to read my son a bedtime story. But then there are the decisions that you feel absolutely convicted about at the time you make them that turn out to be the wrong ones. Like when you are sure the seafood salad at Subway is a good idea, but it turns out to taste like actual, literal garbage instead. No? That hasn't happened to anyone else? What about the relationship you ended or the job you turned down?
To live without regret is to disregard our need for God's grace in our lives, to presuppose we have a clue about the larger picture of His plan. God's word is full of reminders to look forward and not back, but we have to acknowledge our mistakes, that despite our best efforts and most careful planning we don't have all the answers.
We are going to do lots of dumb things, suffer all sorts of loss, make all sorts of mistakes. We're too human not to. We can't dwell on them, fixate over them, let them define us (see previous blog entry about my awesome advice to "get over it"). But regret reminds us that we are human, we cannot do it alone and we need God's grace to move forward. Only then can God take your regret and transform it, making beauty from ashes.
So if your motto for living is "live each day without regret" just knock it off. Maybe try "live each day in God's grace" or "live each day doing the best you can and learning from your mistakes" or "I will try not to do anything stupid today" instead. Or no motto at all! I don't know. As our pastor reminded us a few weeks ago, the only thing we can be sure of on any given day is God's presence with us and His love for us. That's motto enough for me.
XOXO....Kelly
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
I cleaned out the garage!!
A little DIY carpentry project with my good friend Jennifer (check out her blog at http://www.stilllivingthedream.com/ as she is mucho awesome) led to an entire afternoon of cleaning the garage. I swept, dusted, threw away, reorganized and decluttered. When I was done all I could think was, "I guess we'll never be able to use the garage again." It was just so clean! When the boys came in and threw their scooters down all haphazard and willy-nilly I almost lost it! Could they not see the new and clearly designated scooter parking zone? Seriously!!
I have to admit this is not the first time I've had this feeling. I also tend to get this way when I clean bathrooms, the kitchen, the living room, bedrooms, the linen closet. You know, like let's just go ahead and move to the fort out back so none of this stuff I spent all this time cleaning gets messed up.
Yes, I know. It's stupid.
And it brings to mind this scripture.
"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical need, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." James 2:14-17
We have to clean out the garage from time to time. It's a good thing (less you have recently read the Mary and Martha scripture and think that means don't clean your house...don't even get me started on that one!!). We have to tend to our faith, nurture it, let it grow. Go to church, study scripture. But then we've got to use it!! James says, "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder" (v. 19). Your faith simply can not stop at a belief or what is there to separate you from even the Evil one? Anyone can believe. But when our faith and actions work together, our faith is made complete (v. 22).
Put to good use the things you spend so much time tending to. In your schools, in your neighborhood, at your workplace. Put your faith into action. Your life is not a museum. Don't live it like one.
XOXO...Kelly
I have to admit this is not the first time I've had this feeling. I also tend to get this way when I clean bathrooms, the kitchen, the living room, bedrooms, the linen closet. You know, like let's just go ahead and move to the fort out back so none of this stuff I spent all this time cleaning gets messed up.
Yes, I know. It's stupid.
And it brings to mind this scripture.
"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical need, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." James 2:14-17
We have to clean out the garage from time to time. It's a good thing (less you have recently read the Mary and Martha scripture and think that means don't clean your house...don't even get me started on that one!!). We have to tend to our faith, nurture it, let it grow. Go to church, study scripture. But then we've got to use it!! James says, "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder" (v. 19). Your faith simply can not stop at a belief or what is there to separate you from even the Evil one? Anyone can believe. But when our faith and actions work together, our faith is made complete (v. 22).
Put to good use the things you spend so much time tending to. In your schools, in your neighborhood, at your workplace. Put your faith into action. Your life is not a museum. Don't live it like one.
XOXO...Kelly
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)